The pit of despair

sorry I haven't posted in ages. I try to maintain a policy not to talk/write/blog/otherwise make contact when I have nothing good to say and, i fear, there has been very little good of late. for those of you who don't have the film "princess bride" memorized in its entirety, the "pit of despair" is a torture chamber used by count rugen (aka the six-fingered man) to torture the charming westley for being cuter than him, essentially. the torture renders westley "mostly dead," but miracle max comes up with a magic pill thing that brings him back to life. I think it's fair to say that lately I have been feeling far more like westley than I'd care to.

my classroom has some incredibly challenging students with what I refer to as "explosive behaviors.". if you have seen me/my hands and arms lately, I think you'd agree explosive is an appropriate adjective. I have dealt with problem behaviors before. no sweat (well, only a little sweat, maybe). my classroom has aides that are more than willing to help, but have no training for working with our kind of students. my coworkers fall into the same category (I feel very lucky to have so many great people willing to help me out, btw). I have trained people before. no sweat. I am a brand new teacher who has a lot a lot a lot to learn in order to be a competent, successful teacher. I'm a fast learner. no sweat.

it is this tragic combination that has been getting me down. it feels nearly impossible to run a classroom while simultaneously training people, learning new things myself, battling the challenges faced by any new teacher, handling a group of students hugely varied in academic ability, teaching a variety of lessons, conducting data collection and assessments, and restraining students when problem behaviors err on the side of dangerous. there has been a lot of blood, sweat, and tears.

but, just as I was feeling "mostly dead," my principal pulled a miracle max and has presented me not with a magic pill, but with the promise of more help in the classroom. and a hint of a light has appeared at the end of the dark tunnel.

i can see clearly now, the rain is gone

alright, so last week the weather was horrible.  rain for the first, second, and third day of school.  so much rain we couldn't play outside at all.  so much rain i kind of forgot how warm the sun is.  so much rain that there was mass flooding: one hallway in my school, the basement of my house, and several roads (both little neighborhood roads and major highways).  so much rain, in fact, that school was canceled on friday.  now, the flooding was bad.  it caused a lot of people a lot of grief.  however, i was thankful for the day off.  it allowed me a chance to get away for the weekend to a sunny beach with good friends old and new, and take some time to breathe.  it was so good.

but i just knew today would be horrible.  first monday of school for the kids and me, weird weekends for my kids, oasis weekend for me, lots of room for bad news.  and it started off exactly as bad as i expected.  by that i mean i was 20 minutes late to school because there was a truck blocking the road because its engine was on fire.  but, after that, it was good.  great, even.  behavior problems were minor.  the kids and i are getting used to the routine a bit.  we had gym class and they love love loved it.  we were able to play outside on the playground and bask in the sunshine.  and on mondays dismissal is early.

i'm not ashamed to say that last week was rough.  really, really rough.  but today was a glimmer of hope.  some proof that not all days will be like any of the ones we had last week.  which, with so many days left in the year, is reassuring.

here's hoping that hopeful glimmer continues tomorrow.

one down

oof.  wow.  yikes.  sigh.  as some might say, "holy underwear, batman." first day done, and it was a doozy.

a teacher once told me that the definition of a successful first day is when you send home the same number of kids that arrived.  so, today was a success.  basically.  though one kid ended up on the wrong bus.  long story.

the good things: i got a good sense of each of my students.  i have begun to develop relationships with each of them, and they all seem comfortable with me.  we completed a couple of art projects (ie: coloring).  we read some books.  we all ate food at one point or another.  we made it to gym class for at least 5 minutes.  nobody got lost in the school.  no band-aids were required.

the bad things: i discovered i have two screamers.  one screamer is also a biter, scratcher, runner, and spitter.  intense.  the other one spent basically the entire first half hour screaming at the top of his lungs.  ouch.  some of my kids cannot really verbally communicate.  some of my kids cannot really use scissors, nor do they know how to properly hold a crayon.  some of my kids, meanwhile, can add, subtract, engage in pretend play, and tell stories (this should be listed in the "good things," really, but i leave it here in contrast.  it's the contrast that makes things tricky).

moral of the story: it's going to be a long year.  a learning experience.  exhausting and overwhelming but (hopefully) also rewarding.

bracing myself for day two.

surfer dudes

when i was little, i had a decided way with words.  i once told a doctor, when asked how i felt that day, that i felt "like a flower blooming."  i was four.  i also used to describe stomach aches various ways, depending on the severity.  most times this was communicated by referencing how stoked the surfer dudes in my belly were; bad stomach ache = active surfer dudes.

the surfer dudes are currently cruising on some pretty major waves.  everyone keeps saying "oh, don't worry about this job, you'll see!  you'll do great!" or "the first day/week/month/year will be tough, but then it will get so much easier."  any chance someone has a delorean i could borrow?  because i would very much like to visit my future self and see proof of this "certain future success."  i would like to ask my future self "how did you get through the first day/week/month/year?  it seems so daunting!  what did you do about [insert one of the many problems here]?"  i expect my future self would be very reassuring, and when future self says "you will be ok" i will believe her because, well, she would be referencing herself.  that would be so nice.

however, as i don't currently know doc brown, chances of time travel are slim right now.  and the first day of school is tomorrow.  yikes.  yikes, yikes, yikes.  i mean, i have done just about all that i can think of to prepare: i have activities for the first day lined up, my classroom is decorated, and i have things like my classrooom rules established (don't yet have a first day of school outfit set, but i will).  but i am sure there is more that i could be/should be doing.  i just don't know what.

so, future self: if you're reading this, chuckle away at your past self's anxiety.  i hope you think it's funny, and that you are now very happy and successful (and maybe won the lottery too or something.  a girl can dream, right?).  fingers crossed.

so, guess what?

i'm now employed.

yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay!

words cannot express how great it feels to have a job, but i'm going to try to use them to do just that.  imagine being hit repeatedly in the stomach with a baseball bat while a swarm of angry bees, who have stealthily entered your skull, play ultimate frisbee.  additionally, president taft is perched on your shoulders.  throughout this, you have to be coherent, pleasant, knowledgeable, and charming while being constantly grilled with questions.  that's basically what job hunting felt like for me.  when i got a phone call from a principal that said (i paraphrase) "wanna come work for us, dude?" suddenly taft found better things to do, the bees buzzed off, and the baseball bat (apparently swung by nobody) realizes this and drops.  there might have also been rainbows.

quick funny story about how i got this job in the first place: en route to an interview i get a phone call.  it is my new boss (though i didn't know it at the time) asking if i would be at all interested in interviewing for this new semi-uncategorizable class.  he got my name from a posting my fourth-grade teacher's next door neighbor put up on a list.  i asked if he was free in two hours (when i'd be in town) and he said yes. during the interview we discovered i'm not technically qualified to teach this job.  however, he asked me to send him all of my school/work info so he could contact human resources just in case they would be able to make it work.  i did, he did, they did, and thus, i got hired.

so the job i have: i am going to be working in an ABA-formatted (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Applied_behavior_analysis#Efficacy_in_autism) classroom with 6 or 7 kindergarden and first grade students with severe autism (and two teaching assistants to help out, thank goodness).  it's a great school with an AMAZING principal (he'd have to be amazing to go out on a limb and hire a newbie who has never WORKED in an ABA-format classroom) in a fabulous location right in the middle of a highly acclaimed school district.  i am very excited.

real world, here i come.

on the hunt

job hunting is maybe my least favorite thing ever. it sucks to have to apply to a bazillion things, only to hear from a few. then, with education jobs in particular, you have to interview with the county/school district first fora screening interview, if they like you you get put in a database where a principal can find your name and they choose to interview you or not and then they tell human resources what they think. then you mayor may not get the job. lots is up in the air. not a good feeling.

tips: print about 20 more resumes than you think you'll need (in case they lost yours or want an extra to pass along to someone else), wear sensible shoes (in case they want to take youona grand tour of the school and/or join in a classroom for a while, and don't hesitate to call them after an interview to follow up if you haven't heard from them in a while (they wont think you are a pest, they will likely see your enthusiasm as a plus).

would be nice to say that, after a month or two of searching a job has been offered to me but nope (in fact, two interviews and two nos so far. womp womp.). so instead it's story time:

i had a screening interview recently with a county that seemed to be going pretty well. the woman interviewing me kept repeating my answers back to me with an excited expression and saying things like "you'd be surprised haw many people come in here and say exactly the wrong response to these questions!". this sounded promising. at the end of the interview she literally placed a gold star on my interview form, gave me a hug, and said it was a real pleasure talking with me. too bad her school isn't hiring. oh well; the hunt continues.

no, zebras!

this post, much like the previous one, is entirely gratuitous - actual important information is to come later in the week. 

so as a parting gift to my kiddos, i made them a picture book.  it really turned out pretty cute if i do say so myself (which, clearly i do) so i wanted to share it here.  i blurred out the names for their privacy, so you can fill in whatever names you want there (zeke, chrysanthemum, josephus, matilda, pickle, etc.).  enjoy!

strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff

so hopefully this works: i recorded my kids singing "puff, the magic dragon" and it is crazy cute :)

that's all, folks!

so i'm done with student teaching.  which sounds (and feels) crazy.  totally nuts.  i'm not sure what i am going to do come monday morning.  it will feel strange not having to get up and go to school. 


i was able to do two very cutesy last-day-of-school things with my kids that i'll try to figure out a way to share here: we sang (and i recorded) "puff, the magic dragon," and i made them a picture book about themselves.  they loved all of it.  i got lots of hugs.  it was a good, good day.

i know what you're thinking.  ok, no i don't.  but if you were thinking "oh man, i totally love reading this and now it's over" never fear: student teaching is done, but job-finding and job-starting and job-accomplishing aren't.  there will be more to come :)  for now, i'm going to relish in not having to wake up early every morning for a little while.  time to relax.

winding down

i ran into the assistant principal today (thankfully, only figuratively) and she asked how much longer i get to stay at the school.  i had to pause for a moment before responding "next friday?  wow, yeah, next friday."  this really has flown by.  i no longer have any real responsibility (no more lesson planning) - i am now just an extra set of hands.  so i'll share two tidbits that haven't yet made the blog yet:

tidbit 1:
one of my kids asks the most interesting questions to me.  he is very curious; he's the one who asked what i was wearing under my shirt, for those of you who know the story (for those of you who don't, he asked me one day what i was wearing under my shirt.  when i told him nothing he said "but what about those?," referring to a couple elements of my anatomy.).  he also once asked me, upon my return from the ladies room, "which bathroom did you go to?"  i said i went to the girl's room, and he asked "why?"  "because i'm a girl."  "oh, ok."  the most recent inquiry: "do you have a ring?"  "nope."  "well, have you ever been married?" "no."  "oh, well good," he said, and scooted over closer to me.  i didn't have the heart to tell him i don't date younger guys ;)

tidbit 2:
the kids have just gotten into the habit of calling each other, and the teachers, silly names.  they will call someone by another person's name (or random objects, such as the other day when a child turned to me and asked "could you get me a milk, miss juicebox?").  i really don't mind being called "miss juicebox" nor to i mind, when zed sits on cassidy's name at circle, calling him "cassidy."  it cracks them up and is pretty harmless.  however, these kids watch a lot a lot a lot of television and so also use names like "jackwagon" (from the geico commercial), wholly unaware of the meaning.  i try to correct without scolding and/or laughing, but have you ever heard a four-year-old call another four-year-old a "jackwagon" in an endearing tone?  i challenge you not to laugh.

enjoy :)

wait, what?

i have a week and a half left of student teaching (plus a week of observation in other rooms, but that doesn't really count as "teaching" in my opinion).  that must be a lie.  not possible.  for real.  where did the time go????  it's freaking me out.  not that i feel like i am still new in the room - on the contrary, it has become really routine.  it's awesome.  but i'm bummed that i won't be with these kids for much longer.  there are certainly bad days (today was pretty rough, in fact) but even the bad days have been fairly good.  today was "pretty rough" because one of my kiddos was in a funk, and another (who has autism) was having a hard time when i told her to go to another teacher (as opposed to me) for help.  which leads to the next issue ...

... fading me out.  there are a couple of kids who ask for me when i even just step out to use the restroom, so getting them used to me not being here at all is going to be tough.  and something i can't exactly help with.  i've been trying to refer them to the other teachers when they come to me or ask for me, with varying degrees of success (see earlier comment about my friend with autism), so that will be my next trick.  we'll see ...

story time

today i had my kids draw pictures.  one of them proceeded to tell me a story about the picture she had drawn.  it was of a boy with a circle on his arm, with a car in the background.  she said he had broken his arm when that car, who had brought him there, ran him over.  so now he had a cast. 

i was so impressed with the thought she had put into her drawing (bizarre as it may be) so i asked the other kids to tell me about their drawings, and i wrote them down.  here is a selection for your enjoyment:

"the flower growed till he got taller.  leaves grew out of him and then he was tall."

"once there was an alien that had a big afro.  he lived in a planet called 'space' where aliens live.  he had a friend who's name was kambeadacle.  he could dunk.  he used to play basketball when he was a little kid."

"once there was a princess who lived in a castle that had a queen that could play basketball and had a little baby sister that played basketball in her dress.  her name was miss [my name].  she lived in a castle that had a flying horse that was pink that liked rainbows that shined after it rained, and had a stuffed animal.  miss [my name] played with samantha (it wasn't the same miss [my name] because she was black)."

oh hey.

so last week was spring break.  and it was glorious.  a couple of years ago i had the flu over break (like, the whole week); this was about a million times better than that.  got caught up on sleep, spent some time with family, lots of time with friends, and cleaned my apartment.  then yesterday it dawned on me that i had to wake up early and get back to work this morning.  i was pumped to see my kids, but let me tell you: i forgot how hard it is to wake up early.  oof.

thankfully, my kids all came in bright and chipper today.  one little one was feeling especially chatty, and proclaimed that he likes mexican girls.  he proceeded to explain that his dad likes mexican girls, so he likes mexican girls too.  he also told me he found a dollar and couldn't wait to buy something with it, like a "cool hat."  amazing.  they were all genuinely happy to be back in school, which made getting back from break much, much easier.  we even got some things accomplished today!

break was so impossibly lovely (even if the weather wasn't), but the fact that today i don't hate everything getting back to work i find incredibly reassuring - this must be the right profession for me.

hire me, please?

yesterday was the big education expo job fair spectacular, and it was simultaneously chill and intense.  the event itself had been crazy built up, to the point that all of us were pretty nervy about it.  i agonized about little details on my resume, cover letter, teaching philosophy, etc etc etc.  i got my fancy online portfolio (complete with those aforementioned documents, a picture of myself, and some lesson plans i have created) all good to go, got the outfit picked out, and went to bed at a reasonable hour.  upon arrival i was immediately blown away by the sheer amount of people squeezed into the building, each district with their own table set up science fair style to entice you to come talk with them.  add to that the dozens upon dozens of students and young professionals dressed in their classiest outfits trolling the halls looking for job opportunities, and we were probably a fire hazard.  so the initial impression was pretty nuts.  however, walk up to any of the tables and, though the feel was decidedly varied depending on the district, everyone was generally welcoming and appeared glad to talk with you.  i had emailed the locations i was most interested in ahead of time, with my resume attached, and had only heard back from one (and they just said "come to our booth to sign up for an interview!"), but when i arrived at the tables basically all of them had my resume printed and ready - some even recognized my name!  i got my interviews lined up and went on my way to eat lunch/panic about interviewing.

the interviews went surprisingly smoothly.  it was a little crazy - you get a half-hour time block, and while some places used up to the last five minutes, others had you in and out in 15.  sounds like a lot, but it goes FAST.  i, like a super nerd, had a binder with extra resumes (good idea) and print-outs of some lesson plans i had done (also good idea) so i was able to provide extra resume copies to those who needed/lost mine, and could show them things that i had done in the class.  you sit across the table from the interviewer and they will likely have a list of questions that they write notes on as you answer.  smile, be friendly, and have questions prepared to ask them.  every single one asked "do you have any questions for me?"  BAD IDEA to say "nope."  smile, shake hands, say thank you, and get out of there :)

the interviews i had were all very encouraging (yay!); now all i have to do is complete about a gagillion emails/forms/online applications.  oh boy.

how to deal with bullies

this is as much for teaching kids as for teaching us teachers because sometimes, even grown ups can be bullies.  this i am discovering being a student teacher.  a fairly small, blondish, young-looking student teacher.  easy target.

recently, i had an interaction with the family member of one of my kiddos in which i got yelled at.  my clinical instructor (ie - the legit gets-paid-for-it teacher in the classroom) was out for the week and i was left as acting head teacher in charge.  meaning: if there is a problem, i have to deal with it.  and i did.  when the family member came in angry, we went out in the hall to talk about it.  shockingly, i managed to stay calm and generally eloquent.  i sent this person in the direction of someone more equipped to answer the question and went back in the room, shaking in my boots a bit, but also pretty stoked that i hadn't broken down and cried or something.  the rest of the day went really well.

now the trick is, how to progress?  what if something like this happens again?  my guess fear is that it is going to.  for now, student teachers: the moral of the story is to keep calm.  teach the kids that, remind yourself that.  and maybe stash away some security chocolate for after :)

i like your ear, miss teacher!

today has been a tricky day - the weather is icky, and the children are touchy, restless, and lethargic.  they also struggled to lay down for naps (as i am typing this, i have one such student perched on my lap!)  however, the problem that i have been noticing for the past couple of days is a strange thing to complain about: compliments.  my children love me and each other so much they feel the need to let everyone know about it.  it is the sweetest thing to see a child walk into a classroom and have his/her peers say "hey, i love your shirt!  i love your pants!"  and i can't deny it totally brightens my day when a kid says they think my hair is beautiful or that my shoes are pretty.  one little girl today saw i had a different water bottle than the day before and loudly cheered "you got a different water bottle, miss teacher!  yay!  it's new!  yay!"  totally great.  so i absolutely do not want to discourage them from telling their teachers and friends that they appreciate them.  the problem is when to do this. 

for instance, today during morning circle (when i am talking and they should be listening) one of the children popped up and said "that is a really nice "4," miss teacher" (regarding what i had just written on the board).  this spurred a string of 6-7 compliments from the other students, telling me they liked the other numbers and letters i had written, that they liked the shirt i was wearing, that they liked the braids the girl next to them had in their hair, etc.  they compliment anything they can think of (yes, even "i like your ear").  i had to remind them that, lovely as it is to tell people you like things about them, circle time is not the right time to do this.  we discussed other times that it would be nice to compliment their friends.  they all nodded and smiled.

not a full minute later, one of them just had to tell me that they liked my headband.  oh well, better that than being mean to each other?

phew!

this has been a crazy, crazy day.  it all started yesterday when i discovered that our fantastic music teacher, who is great with my four-year-olds, said he wouldn't be in today.  he asked if i'd rather entrust my kids to a sub who likely doesn't know what they are doing and/or how to work with little guys and/or how to do anything musical, or would i prefer to keep them in the room.  i opted for the latter choice.  being fairly musical, i figured i could run my own music lesson (plus, bonus!  a couple mondays ago i had to sit through a whole day of how to run a music lesson!).  then i found out that the other homeroom teacher would be out in the morning for an appointment, so i would be running morning circle time alone.  womp womp.  but i was ready.  so ready.

i went straight home and practiced "puff the magic dragon" on my guitar to play it with the kids (they do that song in music, and know basically all of the words), and looked over the rhyme they were going to learn in morning circle.  i was pumped.  i got my stuff packed up and ready to roll, then hit the sack.

thank GOODNESS i was so prepared.  and that the sun shines bright in my bedroom.  and i'm naturally an early riser.  because this fine morning, my alarm didn't go off.  i woke up lazily, checked out my clock, saw it was 7:32 am, and my thought process went something like this: huh, really?  7:32?  is it a saturday?  it's going to be so nice today.  should i go back to bed?  get up?  wasn't i going to do something?  OH EXPLETIVE IT'S WEDNESDAY AND I SHOULD ALREADY BE AT SCHOOL!  EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE!

so i bolted out of bed, threw on whatever pants were closest to my hand, the shoes that were on the floor, the first clean shirt i could find, pulled a container of some kind of leftovers out of my fridge, threw my stuff in my bag, ran back to grab my guitar, and was out the door and at the school by 7:46.

i was still in "yikes yikes yikes why didn't i think to set my alarm i think i'm still tired but also totally jazzed about today" mode by the time morning circle came along, and (relief!) it went totally well!  the kids listened, they enjoyed the rhyme, and during music they did exactly what i asked them to do.  and seemed to have some fun.  and pretty much rocked "puff the magic dragon."  it was amazing.

future student teachers - the moral of this story is ALWAYS PLAN AHEAD.  because you, too, may wake up late on a day where you are the only teacher around with 19 kids waiting to hear what you have in store for them.

hey, i'm in charge here!

whoa.  just finished my first day as lead/head/main/kind-of-a-big-deal teacher in the classroom.  and it went soooo smoothly.  it was ... almost easy?  which kind of freaks me out.  the actual head teacher left the room for most of the day, and the kids transitioned fairly neatly to going to me with questions instead of her (success!).  really, it wasn't until she and i chatted about an upcoming meeting that i sat back and thought "dude, i totally just ran this entire school day.  sweet.  and nobody cried or broke anything.  things may have even been like, learned.  zing." (my inner monologue is, apparently, not particularly eloquent).  nevertheless, it was a great feeling.

let's just hope this rush fluke trend continues.

will you wear white, jenny jenkins? > i am wearing white, white, white

on monday, while my students enjoyed a day off, i had to go to a day-long lecture about using music in the classroom.  i actually learned some good things:

- when teaching a new song, a really effective way to help them learn is to sing it to them, in full, while they listen and do some kind of simple movement/finger play.

- if a song is coupled with movement, teach the movement first and, while they learn the moves, sing the song each time.  they will pick it up faster than if you did it call/response line by line.

- when keeping a beat, it is easiest for kids to maintain it by tapping on themselves or on the floor; however, the tapping must be on anything but their shoulders - somehow, that is harder for them than even walking on the beat (something to do with the angle.  try tapping your shoulders right now, with your right hand tapping your right shoulder - it's actually harder than it sounds).

- when using songs to practice things LIKE keeping the beat, go ahead and use good songs (classical, folk songs, etc.).  they can do "head, shoulders, knees, and toes" to a recording of "in the hall of the mountain king" just as easily as to a cheesy, childish tune.

- when it's the kids' time to sing, DO NOT SING WITH THEM.  they are expert echo-ers, and can do it in a split second, but they won't retain the music if you always sing along with them.  call and response is fine, but describe it to them like talking: they are not supposed to talk while you are talking, so they are not supposed to sing while you are singing!

- when selecting songs to use in the classroom, pick songs you like.  you are going to be stuck with them all year, so don't pick stuff just because "you think the kids might like this kind of thing."  if you would get bored of it after 30 days, ditch it.  Example: "will you wear white, oh my dear, oh my dear, will you wear white, jenny jenkins?  no, i won't wear white 'cause the color's too bright, i'll buy me a fol-de-rol-dy-tiddle-le-ol-dy seek-a-double, use-a-cause-a, roll-a-find-me, roll, jenny jenkins, roll" is much more fun than "i am wearing white, white, white, and you are wearing white, white, white, and we are wearing white, white, white, so the color we love is white, white white."  ick.

the speaker also made some semi-crazy and even controversial points (there was a heated debate over the benefits v. costs of using silly songs like the hokey pokey in the classroom, believe it or not) but i thought that the general points he made (that i listed above) made good sense.  i am committing them to memory for when i teach new songs to my kids.

things fall apart

after several idyllic weeks, it was bound to happen: this past tuesday the kids were crazy.  essentially all of them, in fact. maybe it was the weather; maybe they were undergoing sugar withdrawal from valentine's day.  whatever the source, today they all decided not to listen to me.  even some of my best kids.

they all felt the need to chatter and move around. i had to have two of them go sit at the table. when the other class came in, they were equally funky. their head teacher had had a bad night the night before, and their teaching assistant was out sick. at one point i had to physically restrain a kid! it was rough. an exhausting.

so what did i do? that day i just did my best to keep my cool, and the next day i reviewed the rules of the class with them. and, amazingly and thankfully, it worked like a charm. the rest of the week they have been a million times better, and have only needed quick reminders of our rules to keep on track.

phew. now it's friday afternoon, and they are all peacefully napping.

i think i left my brain at work

it dawned on me this week that, apart from being at work or at a social event, i have been essentially a lump.  my routine has been go to work, get back from work, sit down, remember i'm hungry, cook/reheat something, turn on the t.v. "for a little bit," then two-to-three hours later i curl up in bed.  periodically i have extra work things or social events to attend, but my current modus operandi has been that of a brainless zombie bum.  this weekend i decided to cease these lazy, lazy habits.

yesterday i attacked the issue of physical health.  walking to and from work is fine, but the body needs more.  i tried everything to convince myself to go work out after work, including placing my bag of workout clothes such that i'd trip over them, but nothing worked.  finally i've worked out the plan: pack my workout clothes with me when i go to work, and changing at work before i walk home (which is literally right past a gym).  success.

tonight?  perusing online planning ideas with the t.v. on, and then reading an iep over a glass of wine.  surely my brain can still work after 5pm.  right?

teaching notes and funny quotes

first observed lesson really went pretty well - about 10x better than i expected.  my main goal, which i shared with my university supervisor (who did the observing) was "if a teacher or principal were to walk by or pop their head in, would it look like i knew what i was doing?" and the answer was "yes."  phew.  the hardest thing for me is that when one student needs extra help, i want to focus in and help that one kid for as long as they need.  which is fine.  good, even.  but if you are the "lead teacher" you also have to monitor all of the students.  luckily the teachers i'm working with each "took charge" of a couple of kids.  the other problem was when kids began to ask "what do i do when i'm done?"  my original plan and the head teacher's idea of what to do unfortunately were not one in the same.  so i have to remember that when i'm in charge i need to take charge, but to be sure and check with the lead teacher about her plans first.  next time, next time.

today i ran my first morning circle.  it actually went really well!  we got through all of the information (calendar, abc's, days of the week, etc.) with a little time to spare, even.  which was the problem.  we ran through the "follow up" (translation: the other group isn't here yet and we have to do something to hold the kids' attention for a little longer) activities, and so i had to wing it.  the kids stuck with it, believe it or not, and, again, i managed to look like i knew what i was doing.  now i just have to keep that up for eleven weeks.

amusing quote time:

when "reading" (making up a story for the pictures) a book to herself, one little girl decided two characters were fighting and one said to the other "you are a shark and not a big worm!"  a minute or two later, a fly landed on the book page.  she swatted it away, crying out "fly, stop!  i'm trying to read a book!"

another child, upon entering the classroom in the morning, came to me and said "i went to a concert.  it's a big-time rush!"  he didn't know what concert it was, but whatever it was it must have been good.

reaching an understanding

i've begun being in charge of things, with general success.  small group lessons, nothing too intimidating.  still, filling the role of teacher is rather nerve-wracking.  sitting in front of ten small people reliant on you to provide them with knowledge is surprisingly scary!  i'm sure it'll get better, but for now every lesson makes my heart race.

THANKFULLY, the kids have been so great with me.  they are starting to respect me as a teacher, and generally listen when i am speaking to them.  with exceptions, obviously.  prime example: today a student came to me with a question instead of the lead teacher (yay!) but later the teacher had to remind a different student that, contrary to her personal belief, i am not a toy to be played with (true).  clearly they are still trying to figure out my place in the classroom, but i say mixed amounts of respect > none at all.

i've also begun to notice that the kids are picking up some of my common turns of phrase.  today i apologized to a girl because, when i was handing out graham crackers for snack, i gave her a broken one.  she looked at me and responded "it's ok.  i'll survive."  love it.

so, apart from my major nerves (getting observed for the first time tomorrow!) and lack of sleep, all good things :)

for a certain friend's sake

a short post.  just one amusing story:

on friday, my kids began to play "wedding."  it was decided that this little girl, "kate," and this little boy, "james," were to be wed.  so they donned the fanciest dress up clothes, kate in a princess hat with a pom-pom for hair, the cinderella dress, and black-and-red lace-up women's shoes, james in a lady wig, two green necklaces, and a cowboy vest.  they walked hand in hand to a corner of the room, exchanged pipe cleaner rings, and were officially married.  then, james came over to me and asked if i could help him build a wall with some blocks.  he and i immediately began work when another boy, "jack," walked up to james and asked him if he had just married kate.  "yeah," said james.  "then why aren't you playing with her?" asked jack.  "i'm building a wall."  jack paused for a moment, then asked "well, then could i marry her?"  james looked up at him and said, without hesitation, "sure."  jack told kate, and she seemed fine with it.  ahh, young love.

was that more manageable?  :)

the things snow does to people

i awoke this morning with the promise of snow.  or at least ice.  precipitation with some level of frozen-ness.  i thought "surely, with this promise will come a delay, an early closing, perhaps even a full-on closing (hey, a girl can dream)" but of course everything was right on time.  and it was a cold, drizzly rain on my way to school.  boo.

thankfully, the children were in rare form today.  there were no glaring behavioral problems, and they were especially cuddly.  at circle, several kids flocked to me, vying for a seat near at least a part of me.  during worktime (where they go play with toys and develop life skills) i had a few come lean against me for a few moments or give me a hug.  one cried when another teacher came to help her instead of me (which is something we must work on because that's not great behaviorally).  one even told me i looked like a kiss (which i am pretty sure is a good thing).  these kids are total charmers which made up, at least in part, for the icky weather.

then it switched from freezing rain to snow.

suddenly the teachers were all chattering in the halls and visiting everyone's classrooms, peeking in asking if they'd heard any news and sharing anything they knew about the weather/traffic/school closings.  a lot of the kids (at least in my class) were totally unaware of the snow at all.  they are simply too short to see out the windows.

once they did discover the wonder of the weather they cheered and bounced around and generally reveled.  i love how big their eyes got when they saw the snow falling.  one, while waiting to go home, even sang me a song about how he was going to make a snowman.  a girl one.  with buttons, a scarf, a coat, and i'm pretty sure he wanted to use my hair on the top.  we didn't negotiate specifics.

naturally we did not get out early at all, so we had to get the kids bundled up and walk them down slippery steps in the midst of some heavy-falling snow (not an easy feat with four-year-olds) to get them to the busses.  and then it was time to worry about all of the teachers going home.  lots of uneasy chuckles and "drive safe"s.  i made it back safe and sound, and haven't gone outside since.

and now i'm compulsively checking school closings for tomorrow.  it (i'm sure) is totally nasty outside and will only get worse as snow continues and it all becomes a thick layer of ice.  and still ...

nothing.

at least if we have school tomorrow i will be able to teach my first real lesson.  will be sure to report on how that goes.

has it really been 10 days?

so, my intention when starting this blog was to write here at least weekly, but ideally more than that.  i mean, these kids provide me with a wealth of amusing stories!  but, here we are 10 days after my previous post.  my bad.

part of the reason it's taken so long to post is i have been SO BUSY.  oh my goodness.  the main thing taking up my time is trying to register for a sub in with the city schools.  this process is about 33x more complex than it really needs to be.  you have to sign up online, print it out, have two govt.-issued forms of i.d., fill out more forms, get your tb test, have a form that proves you got your test, get your fingerprints done, fill out one more form for good measure, bring your transcript to prove you've taken college classes, recite your abc's, dance the macarena, complete a form as a bonus, run a mile in 7 minutes or less, balance three books on your head ... i may have added a few requirements, but you get the idea.  i mean, i am glad that they have a thorough system to ensure we don't have undesirable individuals working with our children, but come on.  i just want to get paid when my teacher or the assistant in my room is out.  meaning, theoretically, i should be paid for today and last friday.  hopefully that can happen somehow - having a little dinero would be a huge help for, you know, groceries etc.

other than that, these kids wear.  me.  out.  i've been making a conscious effort to be a social being (you know, hang out with people in my general age range) and have really been pretty successful.  i'm kind of impressed with myself, truth be told.  but, because i have been socializing, i have had to cut into sleeping.  which is an activity that is pretty vital.  so my current strategy: stagger social nights and sleep nights.  and sleep all day saturday.

the kids haven't said anything too crazy/quotable these past couple of days, but we did engage in a rousing game of duck duck goose that cracked up the adults.  one of the janitors loves to come and play with these kids in the gym, so he was there and initiated a game of duck duck goose with a few of the kids.  naturally, everyone else saw this and begged to join in the circle.  soon, essentially the entire group - 20+ kids - were sitting in a circle getting their heads tapped.  there were a few kinks, though.  i expected some of them to forget to say "goose" and so we would have to encourage them.  however, some of them, after saying goose, would forget to stop running and sit down.  this led to several (forgive the pun) wild goose chases around the gym to catch the kids and get at least one of them to sit back down.  finally, there is one little boy who has a certain affinity for me.  it's cute, but also means i have an extra appendage.  i thought that the game would be enticing enough for him to let go, but of course he didn't.  and the kids all wanted to pick me to chase them.  so i had to chase while i had a three-year-old attached.  good workout, at least.

more fun stories to come i'm sure - more frequently.  i promise.

one week down, fifteen to go

... well, almost (i actually have an hour or so left - i'm typing this during nap time).  i'm feeling pretty confident so far, but i also haven't really had to do anything too official yet.  technically this week and next week are just for "observation," but sitting back and observing in a preschool classroom is an impossibility.  last semester, for instance, i was supposed to conduct several formal observations in the classroom i was working in (with ten or so two-year-olds) where you are to type literally ALL of the goings-on in the room, so most of mine included portions in which i would have to say things like:

while this other activity was occurring on one side of the room, a female student approached the observer carrying a bag of toy doctor tools and began to pull each out and apply them, with some force, to the observer's hand, arm, leg, or computer.  she then withdrew a pair of blue plastic glasses frames from the bag and placed them, upside-down, on the observer's face and proceeded to cock her head to one side and proclaim "boo-ga-da-bo!"

yep.  that honestly happened.  at least my grader had an interesting read.

i am in pretty high demand this week and, as such, have been used almost as a reward.  as in, "if you don't turn around and pay attention then you can't sit next to miss kelsey."  my attention is particularly sought after in the gym (where we go when it's too cold to go outside for recess).  my arms are often pulled in two different directions, and i must constantly attend to both a child shooting a basketball and another simultaneously twirling a hula hoop.  thankfully they haven't yet caught on that this is physically impossible.  yesterday the boys all fought over who would get to dance with me first (we had music playing) and each had his own moves to show off.  one boy, the shortest in class, decided he and i should tango, and even tried to dip me!  totally charming.  i'm trying not to pick favorites.

one of these boys and i had a particularly fascinating conversation today.  he came over and sat in my lap and asked me what i had on under my shirt.  i said "oh, do you see it peeking out?  a white undershirt."  he said "what about under that?" ... under that?  "nothing," i said with a smile.  he laughed and said "but what about these?" and proceeded to tap my boobs.  i tried, with little success, not to laugh as i said "oh that's just a part of me, just like these (tapping his legs) are a part of you!"  i just wasn't ready for the "how girls and boys are different" conversation.  it's only my first week, kid!

so, after one week here i have learned to be prepared to be chased, pulled on, climbed on, squished, poked, prodded, and questioned.  however, with that comes being danced with, having my hand held, receiving lots of hugs and cuddles, and being amused by the questions that they ask.  positives > negatives, i'd say.  at least, so far.

first day of school jitters

so last night i was freaked out nervous anxious nuts.  with no real reason to worry since the first week or two is essentially just observation and playing with the kids, i was worried.  i thought "i'll watch tv for a while" but i couldn't sit still.  i thought "i'll take a bath to relax" but the water wouldn't get warm enough.  i thought "i'll read a chapter or two in a book to settle down" but still wasn't tired.  slept soooooo poorly.  and then had to wake up at 6:30.  i had totally forgotten how early that is.

but the school day went really well!  the teachers are really nice, and the kids seem to like me.  i also discovered that this group is going to be amazing when it comes to providing quotes.  today:
- a kid asked the head teacher "have you gone bananas?"
- another described the rules to "spin the bottle" complete with the finale "then you have to go in the closet"
- a third kid called me a "jackwagon" (thinking it was a good thing) and proceeded to quote the entire geico commercial that "jackwagon" is used in

i think this is going to be good.

hello, nice to meet you, i'll be with you for the next 80 school days

so i just met the teacher i'll be working with for the semester and she is fantastic, a veteran teacher, and totally on the ball.  which is great because i went in a PILE of nerves.  i'm pretty good at looking relaxed, but inside i was feeling a little crazypants.  what if she doesn't like me?  what if i give off a crappy first impression?  what if i go at the wrong time?  what if i go to the wrong room?  the wrong SCHOOL?

i timed my trip (yep, really) so i would be sure to get there on time on monday (oh yeah, and "on time" is between 7:30 and 7:45 in the am.  boo.).  i introduced myself to the lady at the front desk right away (should be a good move) and stood outside the classroom for a minute (the kids had naptime so i didn't want to go in).  thankfully the teacher came out and we sat down in the cafeteria and had a really easy-breezy talk about general expectations (things like "what time do you want me to be here?" and "how formally do you typically dress?") and that was it.  so long, see you bright and early monday morning.

phew.

so now that that's over all i have to worry about is stuff like what i'm going to plan for the coming semester when i start to take over the class, what i'm going to do when i'm done and graduated, where i'm going to go, can i even get a job, etc. etc. etc.

but first thing's first: what to wear on the first day.  baby steps.