i can see clearly now, the rain is gone

alright, so last week the weather was horrible.  rain for the first, second, and third day of school.  so much rain we couldn't play outside at all.  so much rain i kind of forgot how warm the sun is.  so much rain that there was mass flooding: one hallway in my school, the basement of my house, and several roads (both little neighborhood roads and major highways).  so much rain, in fact, that school was canceled on friday.  now, the flooding was bad.  it caused a lot of people a lot of grief.  however, i was thankful for the day off.  it allowed me a chance to get away for the weekend to a sunny beach with good friends old and new, and take some time to breathe.  it was so good.

but i just knew today would be horrible.  first monday of school for the kids and me, weird weekends for my kids, oasis weekend for me, lots of room for bad news.  and it started off exactly as bad as i expected.  by that i mean i was 20 minutes late to school because there was a truck blocking the road because its engine was on fire.  but, after that, it was good.  great, even.  behavior problems were minor.  the kids and i are getting used to the routine a bit.  we had gym class and they love love loved it.  we were able to play outside on the playground and bask in the sunshine.  and on mondays dismissal is early.

i'm not ashamed to say that last week was rough.  really, really rough.  but today was a glimmer of hope.  some proof that not all days will be like any of the ones we had last week.  which, with so many days left in the year, is reassuring.

here's hoping that hopeful glimmer continues tomorrow.

one down

oof.  wow.  yikes.  sigh.  as some might say, "holy underwear, batman." first day done, and it was a doozy.

a teacher once told me that the definition of a successful first day is when you send home the same number of kids that arrived.  so, today was a success.  basically.  though one kid ended up on the wrong bus.  long story.

the good things: i got a good sense of each of my students.  i have begun to develop relationships with each of them, and they all seem comfortable with me.  we completed a couple of art projects (ie: coloring).  we read some books.  we all ate food at one point or another.  we made it to gym class for at least 5 minutes.  nobody got lost in the school.  no band-aids were required.

the bad things: i discovered i have two screamers.  one screamer is also a biter, scratcher, runner, and spitter.  intense.  the other one spent basically the entire first half hour screaming at the top of his lungs.  ouch.  some of my kids cannot really verbally communicate.  some of my kids cannot really use scissors, nor do they know how to properly hold a crayon.  some of my kids, meanwhile, can add, subtract, engage in pretend play, and tell stories (this should be listed in the "good things," really, but i leave it here in contrast.  it's the contrast that makes things tricky).

moral of the story: it's going to be a long year.  a learning experience.  exhausting and overwhelming but (hopefully) also rewarding.

bracing myself for day two.

surfer dudes

when i was little, i had a decided way with words.  i once told a doctor, when asked how i felt that day, that i felt "like a flower blooming."  i was four.  i also used to describe stomach aches various ways, depending on the severity.  most times this was communicated by referencing how stoked the surfer dudes in my belly were; bad stomach ache = active surfer dudes.

the surfer dudes are currently cruising on some pretty major waves.  everyone keeps saying "oh, don't worry about this job, you'll see!  you'll do great!" or "the first day/week/month/year will be tough, but then it will get so much easier."  any chance someone has a delorean i could borrow?  because i would very much like to visit my future self and see proof of this "certain future success."  i would like to ask my future self "how did you get through the first day/week/month/year?  it seems so daunting!  what did you do about [insert one of the many problems here]?"  i expect my future self would be very reassuring, and when future self says "you will be ok" i will believe her because, well, she would be referencing herself.  that would be so nice.

however, as i don't currently know doc brown, chances of time travel are slim right now.  and the first day of school is tomorrow.  yikes.  yikes, yikes, yikes.  i mean, i have done just about all that i can think of to prepare: i have activities for the first day lined up, my classroom is decorated, and i have things like my classrooom rules established (don't yet have a first day of school outfit set, but i will).  but i am sure there is more that i could be/should be doing.  i just don't know what.

so, future self: if you're reading this, chuckle away at your past self's anxiety.  i hope you think it's funny, and that you are now very happy and successful (and maybe won the lottery too or something.  a girl can dream, right?).  fingers crossed.